Time Machine

It was a long walk
From the cradle to the edge of the world,
But they did it on a shoestring budget, baby.
They couldn’t read, they couldn’t write,
There wasn’t anything to do
But kill some things to eat and make some babies.

And you can bet they didn’t
Dream about no pyramid schemes.
Just lots of sex and violence
In fitful little dreams.
But they picked ’em up and
They put ’em down and they found
A better way to eat their meat tartar
And make some babies.

Well God was angry then and Jesus wasn’t even born.
Men were men and the women were like cattle.
But all of this was as it should be,
Sacred in design.
It proved itself in battle after battle.

But they were all barbarians,
Their brains were pretty small.
Hell, even kings smelled pretty bad,
Their toothless grins and all.
And if I had a time machine
I’d go back to those days.
I’d treat the women well and make some babies.

Bridge:
Everything is relative every now and then.
My Time Machine might be used
For ill by some evil men.
And Geraldo the Rivera just might
Take her for a spin.
Might go back and make some ugly babies.

Glacial is the progress of this animal called man.
But only ’cause his brain is always looking.
‘Cause when the thumb’s opposable,
The outcome is predictable.
The comedies and tragedies just lurking.

And I guess that’s what I like about us,
Genocides aside.
We’re always thinking that we’ll change
There on the other side.
And if I had a time machine
I would go everywhere, eating
Chinese food and making babies.
If I had a time machine, I think
I’d change myself and everything.
I’d ride around, forever making babies.

Appears On:

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